Relationship age differences

[Marzipan]

The "Tom and Katie" thread got me to wondering....can relationships where the two people have a significant age difference work? How about you and your S/O? Is there a major difference in age between you two?

[MsBee]

DH is 9 years younger than I am. We did not meet and marry until we were 39 and 48 though, so I think that makes a big difference. The younger anyone is the bigger that 9 year span would be. We don't even think about it - not really noted by anyone.

[crazymaggiemay]

My ex is 9 years my senior. I was 25 when we married. We divorced after 22 years of marriage. However, we have gotten back together as of this past April.
I'd say maturity, time and life lessons helped us get back together.
I'd also have to say it wasn't an age difference as much as it was growing in different directions that caused us to divorce.

[DecoMom]

My BFF is something like 10 years younger than her husband; they've been married since 1980 or '81.

That absolutely would not have worked for me. I dated a couple of guys who were 8-10 years older than me; they were in a different place, had a different history and, to my mind, were awfully set in their ways. DH is 3.75 years older than me — enough to make up for the usual maturity difference between genders, but close enough to have a shared background (music, culture, experiences etc.)

[momto4]

DH and I are only a year apart.

But my brother and his wife...his wife is 15 years older.

Granted, they have a bad marriage, but he is determined to make it work...has for over 18 years now. He was 19 when they met. 21 when they married.

My MIL is about 8 or 9 years older than my FIL...she was twice divorced with 2 kids when they met...he was about 20. Married for 35 years...and very happy.

DH's aunt is involved with a guy who is younger than her kids. She is a widow. She is 65. Her new "friend" is 36.

One of my old girlfriends...she was married to a guy who was a few days older than her....they divorced eventually. She married a guy who was about 15 year older. They divorced after a couple years. Now she is with a guy who is about 12 years younger! She is happy!

[mom-mom-6]

My daughter is 39 and her husband is 55. It was an issue for several years but now after 18 years together, married almost 15 they are very happy. Their biggest issue was a very sick daughter. Took him a bit longer to really help with appointments, surgeries, etc. Now he is devoted to both of them and Shelbie adores him. Biggest issue was him not taking off for surgeries because he was busy but could take off to go golfing. Once that was straightened out things were better.

[Bopeep]

My dh is ten years younger than me, but we were older than a lot of people when we met, 40s and 50s. Dd is at least 10 years older than her dh, and ds#1 last year married a woman about 6 years older. Dgd is engaged to a man who is 15 years older, but he doesn't act like it.

These relationships all "seem" to be working, but I think it would be hard if the man was very young - in his 20s- and the woman 35+ years.

[Nancy in ME]

DH and I are 1 year and 6 days apart.



The relationship prior to DH lasted 11+ years and he is 17 years older than me.

The biggest problem with a huge age difference is that, usually, the younger partner is left alone far younger than they might have been otherwise.

[Bopeep]

My biggest problem is that I'm now retired but dh is still working. Of course part of that is his personal drive.

[Andys Mom]

Only four years difference.

[smidget]

Our closest friends are 17 years apart with the husband being older. But they had both been married before, had their kids all grown up before they met. They've been married for 12 years now.

DH is 3 years younger than me.

[MsP]

I don't see how you would have much in common if the age difference is big. Tom and Katie are 16 years apart. That is a lot and as the body ages, that many years can make a difference to the younger one. One reason I have observed is they get romance and finance mixed up. A man 68 yrs. old married a 42 yr. old and she soon became a caretaker. That is not what she planned on so she says and 12 yrs. later she split. I say she made a bad investment.

[Bopeep]

Oh we have a lot in common, and always find something to talk about, and places to go. But I can't always be doing something like he does, so he goes w/o me a lot, like walking on the beach or riding his bike. Sometimes it bothers me, but he always comes back, and that is good. I go at my own pace.

[alpiner1]

There was about 20yrs. difference in my parent's ages . Dad was born in 1888 & Mom in 1909 . Dad's first wife died in the 1919 flu epedemic , they had a daughter born in 1915 & a son in 1918 (son was 3 months old when the mother died). My half sister said it was hard for her to understand why he would marry a woman so close to her age . Dad wasn't in good health & Mom became his care giver . I was born when he was 51 & he died when I was 12 , I really didn't get to know him .
DH is 3 yrs. older than me . I usually dated older men but he isn't that nuch older . Even at 76 he still acts young .

[Sragata]

I was 9 months older than my EX. and 20 years younger than Will's dad.

There were some problems with the age difference, but I don't think that they were the cause of our break up.

[Picante Pants]

I had two long term relationships with older men one was 26 yrs older and one was 25 yrs older. My DH is one year older.

[chickypea]

Bo and I have a lot in common. Jim is almost 12 years younger than I am. We have been together for 10 years now (my first husband was 7 years younger)
I prefer younger men to men my own age, I have seen I was in my twenties. I am not talking jail bait- a twenty year old male holds no interest for me, but I think Jim and my age difference is perfect for us.

We have plenty in common- so our memories are different... big deal. We didn't grow up in the same areas, so our general outlook on life began differently too. We do share the same interests, music, politics, tastes, art...

[kylesmom]

Dh is 5 yrs younger than me. Not that big a deal.

Shawn

[norphan]

My sister's first husband was her same age and they had been together through high school. To celebrate their 20th wedding aniversary, they got an amicable divorce. They had nothing in common but their past and their children (whom he hardly knew).
She is now married to a man 22 years her junior. They are wonderful together. I know few couples who are so good together. It has been 24 years, now and I see no problems in sight. I'm certain that it was him who kept her alive to finally get her kidney transplant.

My first husband was 12 years my junior. When we divorced after only six years, it was because he was more interested in a lady where he works (3 months younger than me). They have been together for 25 years, now, and seem to be good together.

I feel it has little to do with age differences but more with character and intentions.

[SueMI]

Hubby is 2 years older than me. Oddly, my Dad was 2 years older than my Mom. My gut feeling is that I would marry someone my age, or 1-3 years older than myself.

[Ranchy]

my ex is 7 years older than me for most of the year......Sweetie is 4 years and a day shy of 2 weeks older than I am....

my mom is 13 years older than my step-dad.....

my younger sister is 10 years younger than my BIL.....

youngest sister is 3 months younger than her sweetie......

brother is almost a year older than his GF......

dad (from what I hear, nothing concrete yet) is seeing a woman who is younger than my youngest sister.......27 years difference in them.........

don't think age makes a lot of difference, as long as you have things in common.

[QVC Diva]

No SO other in my life right now but I've dated someone 16 years older and someone 10 years younger.

I don't think age is so much the problem as life experiences and stage of life. I had a much better relationship with the one that was 16 years older as opposed to the younger man.

One of my younger cousins is 8 years older than her husband and so far, they have been married 19 years.

[bifey]

DH is six months younger than me.

[filmguy]

I feel that age difference doesn't matter as long as it's mutual. (and over 18 of course)